How to claim what you want this year

Welcome to my first post of 2018!  From now on, all posts will go live on a Friday (or what I like to call Body Confident Friday!) and will be accompanied by a video.

I hope that you enjoyed some relaxing down time with your loved ones over the Christmas period.

I want to start by wishing you an amazing year ahead, and I hope that today’s tip will help you get off to a great start in 2018!

This year, instead of resolving to go on yet another diet that won’t work, I want you to dig a bit deeper to find out what’s really behind your desire to lose weight.

You see, weight loss is NOT your actual goal, you’re looking for something else.

To help you claim what you REALLY want, I’ve got two key questions that you need to ask yourself.

Believe me when I say that dieting will not satisfy the need you’re really trying to meet.

Watch or read below:

What does it mean to claim what you want?

This year, it’s estimated that around 20% of Brits will make losing weight one of their New Year’s resolutions – a goal that has a 95% failure rate.

What fascinates me about dieting is the reasons why we really diet. Losing weight is not the real motivation behind our weight loss efforts.

There’s a wonderful quote by Virgie Tovar (a fat activist), which explains what I mean perfectly:

“When people say they want to lose weight, they often mean ‘I want to be respected. I want to be loved. I want to be seen’.”

Trying to change your appearance by losing weight or altering some other aspect of your appearance is driven by something much deeper.  It’s a deeper need for love, acceptance, respect, fulfillment, or connection.

Yet all of these things are available to you without having to lose weight or change your looks.

These are the things that you really crave, not losing weight.

How to claim what you want

This year, claim what you really want, and go after these directly, not through attempts to lose weight.

To help you to do this, I’ve got some questions to help:

First of all, ask yourself, What do I hope losing weight will really give me?

This question will help you understand your real motivation, what you really want.  You may hope that losing weight will help you find love, or will make you more ‘respected’ at work.

Write these down. These are things that are important to you for this year!

Secondly, ask: What can I do to [get others’ respect, be more fulfilled, and find love]?

This question helps you figure out how you can get what you want without losing weight first. That might mean signing up for a dating site, putting yourself forward for projects at work or finding a new hobby or pastime.

Trying to fix your body is NOT the answer to what you really want

Trying to achieve love, happiness, respect or whatever through weight loss or appearance fixing does not address the core satisfaction you’re really seeking.

Facing up to what’s really behind your desire to ‘fix’ your body moves you a step closer to claiming what you are really looking for.

I’d love to know, what are you claiming for yourself this year? Leave me a comment below.

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