Why am I so obsessed with appearance?
New clients often ask me, “Why am I so obsessed with appearance?”
While everyone’s body confidence journey is slightly different, there are some common factors that drive appearance obsession.
So in this post, I’m taking a closer look at why we’re so appearance obsessed.
I’ll be sharing:
- How social media encourages a focus on appearance.
- Societal factors that fan the flame of appearance obsession.
- How to know if your body consciousness has become an obsession.
- 3 steps to help you move past body obsession and get on with your life!
Watch or read below:
What’s driving appearance obsession?
Today I want to talk about body obsession – what causes it and the initial steps you can take to deal with it.
Often when a client starts working with me, they wonder, how did I get here? Why am I obsessed with appearance?
While everyone’s body confidence journey is different and unique to them, I have found a few common factors driving appearance obsession.
Thanks to social media, most people have a public image, which is viewed on a frequent, often daily basis.
Quite simply, we have never had to look at ourselves, or others so much!
With your public image freely available, it can create an obsession with looking perfect.
Appearance fixing behaviours
The desire to look perfect can result in what psychologists call ‘appearance fixing’. This is when you are constantly try to change your appearance with make-up, diets, exercise or cosmetic procedures.
I believe that there are two main factors that drive the desire to appearance fix more than anything else:
Accessibility of cosmetic treatments
Treatments such as limp plumpers and wrinkle fillers have become more affordable and widely available.
This contributes to the belief that if you don’t like something about your appearance you can ‘fix it’.
And, once you’ve jumped on the cosmetic treatment band waggon, it’s not a great leap to more invasive cosmetic surgeries.
Friendship norms
If your friendship group is regularly engaging in obsessive behaviours such as taking and re-taking photos to get the ‘perfect’ one or using Botox and lip fillers, these things become normalised.
These factors make you believe that if you only try hard enough and do the ‘right’ things, you can achieve the perfect look.
When is appearance fixing an obsession?
But how do you know when body consciousness and the desire to fix your body has tipped over into appearance obsession?
Well, here are three questions you can ask to find out:
1. Is your view of beauty very rigid?
For example, do you HAVE to look exactly like a particular person (whether that’s a friend or celebrity) to consider yourself attractive?
2. Is the voice in your head constantly critical of your looks?
3. Is your appearance your number one priority, to the exclusion of most else?
For example, does your family sometimes take a backseat so you can work on your looks?
If you answered ‘yes’ to 2 or all of these questions, it’s likely your behaviours are becoming obsessive.
How to deal with appearance obsession
If this sounds like you, the first step to dealing with appearance obsession is to become aware of your behaviours.
This is vital because you can’t change something you aren’t aware of. For example, you might want to make a note of what your critical voice says and notice when you’re prioritising your appearance over something else.
Secondly, identify the triggers to the obsessive behaviours. For example, does comparing yourself on social media or spending time with a friendship group trigger body obsession?
Finally, decide on one action you can take straight away to curb your obsessive behaviour. Maybe you can cut down the time you spend on social media or with friends that are a trigger for appearance obsession?
If you’re obsessed with appearance and it’s taking over your life, this is something that we delve into on my Coaching Programme, The Body Confidence Journey.
If you’d like to know more about the programme, and if it’s a good fit for you, answer a few questions for me, and I’ll get right back to you!
