New Year, Same Me
Are you fed up of chasing after a new you each new year?
In this post, I explore why chasing the New Year, New You mantra will never make you feel ‘good enough’.
Instead, I share an approach to help you recognise and appreciate all you already are. This will get you focused on what you most want and need to be fulfilled this year.
Listen or read below:
The problem with New Year, New Me
2021 certainly wasn’t a normal year – that’s an understatement, and it challenged us all in a variety of different ways
As we enter 2022, there is still plenty of uncertainty around.
But if the global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that life is short and precious and to be grateful for what we already have in our lives.
So, as you look ahead to 2022, I want you to approach what you want to achieve or experience with kindness and compassion for yourself.
Rather than thinking that a new year must mean a new you, embrace more of who you already are, and know that’s good enough. More new year, same me.
The new year, new you mantra is just another ploy to make you feel insecure – like you must do and be more to be ‘enough’.
Think about all the companies that try to sell products and services off the back of the idea of New Year, New You. The diet industry and fitness industries particularly.
When you start the year from a place of not feeling good enough, you’re setting yourself up to feel even worse about yourself when you don’t achieve the things you feel you should.
Why New Year, Same Me?
What if your goal for 2022 was to be more of who you already are? To embrace the mantra new year, same me.
You’d truly stand for what you want and believe in, rather than following all the usual ‘resolutions’ for the New Year like – lose weight, get fit, earn, achieve and consume more.
Rather than focussing on what you perceive you lack, you focused on your strengths, talents and what you loved?
What if instead of following the crowd and clinging to the usual goals, you honestly asked what you most want and need?
I’m not suggesting that you don’t stretch or challenge yourself, rather that you make sure that what you’re pursuing in 2022 is about YOU rather than what culture, media or family are projecting onto you.
What happens when you chase the ‘wrong’ goals
For most of my 20’s and 30’s I pursued goals that I thought were expected of me by my family, society, and the organisation I worked for.
It was all about perfection: having a well-paid job, working on the weaknesses my employer identified, maintaining the right appearance, and seeking out the perfect partner.
Yet these goals made me anything but happy and took me further and further away from my true self, until I reached the point where I had no idea who I was anymore.
It wasn’t until I took an honest look at where my strengths lie, what I loved to do and what made me happy and fulfilled that I started to reconnect with the true me.
Greater happiness comes from being yourself
Embracing who I already was made me happier than striving to be someone that I wasn’t. There was no striving, no hustle, no weight loss goals in sight – just me.
Having gratitude for all that I already was and focusing on what came naturally to me was a revelation. Yet it also felt alien to be content with myself and do things that felt good and in flow for me.
Our culture doesn’t encourage you to be yourself – in fact it doesn’t encourage you just to be! It demands that you work on your weaknesses and fix your flaws in a whirl of do, do do!
Yet no matter how much you do, or how hard you try, it’s impossible to reach all the standards set for you by society, family, employers, or yourself!
How to embrace New Year, Same Me
So, this year, why not start by taking stock of all that you already are and what you most need and want?
Try on the idea of new year, same me. This is about what you, at your core, need and want. Not what you feel you ‘should’ need or want!!
To help you embrace more of who you already are and focus on what will make you happy and fulfilled, I’ve got some coaching questions for you:
What do others most value about you?
Ask your partner, or a good friend if you struggle with this.
What do you love to do?
Which tasks or activities come easily to you? What percentage of your time is spent on these things?
When do you feel most alive?
What brings you the greatest sense of contentment? How much time are you devoting to these things?
How can you bring more of what you love and what you’re good at into your life?
What do you most want to be or do over the next year? Try to tune into your wants and needs. If you notice the words ‘should’ or ‘ought’ creeping in, these are not your wants or needs!
I hope that you find these questions insightful as you think about the year ahead and what you most need and want!
What will your version of new year, same me look like? Please leave me a comment below.