‘I’m not good enough’… what to do when you feel like this

Happy Valentine’s Day!

While Valentine’s Day is all about the love you have for another, I want to focus on the love you have for YOURSELF.

This is the MOST important relationship you’ll ever have, so it’s important to make it as fulfilling and rewarding as possible.

Plus, at the heart of many body image issues is the belief that you aren’t good enough.

So if you’re feeling not good enough, I’m sharing an exercise to identify and clear the beliefs that are holding you back from a better relationship with yourself.

Watch or read below:

I’m not good enough

Many of the clients I work with have the underlying belief that they are not good enough. Not only is this belief unhealthy for body image, it’s unhealthy in all aspects of life.

If your baseline is: I’m not good enough, you’ll struggle in your relationships, career, and social life.

Feelings that you are not good enough are about a poor relationship with yourself. You don’t believe that you deserve happiness, contentment, love or fulfillment.

Often, when I get to the bottom of what has created this poor sense of self-worth in a client, they’re able to create a new, healthier relationship with themselves.  In this relationship, they know they have value.

Work on the relationship you have with YOU

If you’re struggling with feeling not good enough, why not take some time out this Valentine’s Day to work on the relationship you have with yourself?

This is by far the most important relationship that you’ll ever have.  It’s also the blue print for ALL other relationships in your life.

What do you believe about yourself?

The first step in working towards a better relationship with yourself is to identify what you believe about yourself.  You’ll also need to discover where the beliefs come from.

So brainstorm on the question: what do I believe about myself?

For example, some of my core beliefs were: I’m stupid, I’m not attractive enough, People don’t like me for who I am.

Get all these beliefs down on paper. Then one, by one, ask yourself the following questions:

Where has this come from?

Was there a specific incident that created this belief? Is it something that you’ve picked up from a family member that you’ve accepted without question?

What’s the motivation behind the belief?

The person the belief came from likely had their own struggles or insecurities which they’ve passed on to you to make themselves feel better.

Do you want to keep this belief?

Making choices is empowering – it means that you get to decide if this belief is helpful or not.

If it’s not helping you to feel good about yourself, then what’s the point in keeping it?

If you choose to set the belief free, why not write it on a piece of paper and tear it up or burn it!

Clearing out all the unhelpful beliefs that keep you feeling that you are not good enough is a powerful exercise to do, so give it a try!

I’d love to hear what you learnt from doing this exercise.  Please leave a comment below.