How to feel better about your looks

Have you ever caught a glimpse of your reflection and been filled with panic and negativity because you didn’t like how you look?

I know this feels awful, and it’s something clients struggle with all the time.

In this post, I’m sharing three ways to make peace with your reflection and feel better about your looks.

Listen or read below:

When you don’t like your looks

How many times has this happened to you?

You’re going about your day, feeling pretty good, then you catch a glimpse of your reflection.

You’re immediately filled with a wave of panic and negativity because you don’t like how you look.

I know it can feel like the worst thing ever.

This is something that clients experience all the time, and a feeling I know only too well!

I know in those moments how badly you want to like your looks.

Why you don’t feel better about your looks

Living with diet and beauty culture, it’s no wonder you believe your value lies in being attractive. It’s not your fault if you want to like your looks.

But the key to feeling better about yourself isn’t to like your looks.

Instead, you need to build a sense of self-worth – one that recognises there is far more to you than your appearance. This includes an acceptance that you may not ‘like’ your looks.

And even though worth isn’t defined by appearance, it’s still helpful to be able to make peace with what you see in the mirror.

This isn’t the same as liking or loving your looks – it just means that you stop the hate and shame.

How to feel better about your looks

What can you do to make peace with your reflection and feel better about your looks?

Well, I’ve got three strategies and perspectives to help you feel better about your looks:

Choose neutrality over love

I seldom look at myself in the mirror and go, “Oh, I love my body, it’s so great!”

In fact, I don’t think about my body that much, because I no longer tie my worth to how I look. And this is precisely what it means to have a positive body image.

I respond to my reflection in an accepting or neutral way. So, I might look in the mirror and think, “That’s my body”, or “Hmm, don’t like that, but let’s get on with the day anyway!”

You can appreciate, respect and be kind to your body, but you don’t need to find it attractive or like how it looks to feel better about yourself.

Expecting to like your looks can set you up for disappointment because it doesn’t happen often.

When you respond to your body in a neutral or accepting way, it’s a big improvement on feeling shame or hate, so embrace the “Meh…” and don’t believe you have to think, “I’m sex on legs”.

Look out for body diversity

While on holiday in Greece, I looked across the beach and noticed the diversity of body shapes and sizes around me.

Years ago, I would have focused on the bodies I thought were ‘better’ than mine and compared myself to them until I felt horrible about my body.

I recognised this as a sign of how far I’ve come with my own body image, and you can do the same.

Rather than focussing on the body types you typically see in the media, widen your horizons. Take off the blinkers and look around. When you’re out and about, actively look out for body diversity.

Doing this helps reshape your perception of beauty and yourself.

Discover what’s more important than liking how you look

Identify the things that are more important to you than liking how you look. That might be fulfilling and purposeful work, connecting with friends and family, spending time in nature or on a hobby.

Actively bring your attention to these things and over time your body will seem like less of a big deal.

Getting clear on what I most wanted from life made me realise how insignificant my appearance was to living a meaningful one.

So that’s it, three strategies to help you feel better about your looks.

I’d love to know which of these strategies you’re going to try. Please leave me a comment below.

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