Why you don’t have to love your body
In this post, I explore why you don’t have to love your body to have a better body image.
Specifically, I share:
- What a healthy body image means (not what you’ve been told it means by diet and beauty culture or the bopo community);
- Why acceptance isn’t the same thing as liking your body;
- An exercise to help you get an objective view of your body.
Listen or read below:
You don’t have to love your body
When working towards better body image, one of the things women often struggle with is believing they can only be body confident if they love every part of their body.
But, having a healthy body image doesn’t mean that you have to love, or even like every aspect of your appearance (although if you do, that’s great!).
It’s okay not to like parts of your body.
A healthy body image means taking a balanced view of your looks. It’s not just about identifying what you like or love – it’s acknowledging, although no dwelling on, what you don’t like.
For some parts of your body, you may feel neutral or indifferent. That doesn’t mean you have poor body image. A neutral view is still healthy.
Better body image comes from accepting your body as a whole – the good, the bad and the neutral!
Remember that acceptance isn’t the same as loving something.
You can dislike something about yourself, but still accept it. It doesn’t have to hold you back from living a meaningful life. I may not like my nose or thighs much, but I accept they’re part of me. I’m not going to let them stop me living my life to the full.
Without this understanding, some women beat themselves up about their inability to ‘love’ their body.
Body positive messaging along the lines of Love your body, it’s beautiful can unintentionally leave women feeling they’ve failed because they don’t like their body.
If you’re berating yourself for not loving your body, it’s time to be more self-compassionate.
You haven’t failed at building a better body image. In fact, you might have a much better relationship with your body than you think.
How do you feel about your body?
To help you get a clearer perspective on how you really feel about your body, try this exercise:
Exercise: how I feel about my body
Note down every part of your body from head to toe. Next to each body part, describe it (as objectively as you can) and how you really feel about it.
This is about being objective rather than judgmental, so stick to descriptive facts about your body rather than using words that imply judgment like ‘gross’ or ‘ugly’.
Here’s some examples of what I wrote when I did this exercise:
Hair: long and brunette with some silver. I really like my hair. It makes me feel feminine
Eyes: hazel and large. I like them. They feel like the windows to my soul.
Nose: small and turned up at the end. I don’t like it that much, especially in side profile. It makes me feel self-conscious sometimes.
Thighs: large and rounded. They make me feel self-conscious in a swimsuit.
Hands: long and thin. They’re okay. I don’t have any strong feelings about them.
Writing this out gives you a clear view of how you feel about your body.
What did you discover?
You may be surprised to discover that you feel neutral about a large proportion of your body. If you do, that’s great. Remember, feeling neutral about your body is still healthy for body image.
Even if you don’t feel great about several body parts, balance this against the body parts you do like or feel neutral about.
Finally, ask yourself if you have a balanced view of your body? If not, are your feelings mostly negative, positive or neutral?
Remember, that whatever you feel about your body is perfectly valid. Be gentle with yourself. Wherever you’re at right now with your body image is okay. Please don’t judge yourself.
It’s hard to love your body
We all have things that we don’t like about our bodies, and it isn’t necessary to love every part of them to be comfortable in your skin.
A healthy body image does not require that you like everything about your body.
There will be parts that you like and parts that you don’t.
Achieving balance in the way you feel about your body – acknowledging what you don’t like, but identifying things you like or are okay with is the route to body acceptance.
Looking for some help and support with your body confidence?
Why not book a Body Confidence Break-Through Session to help you uncover your main block to better body image and how to clear it?
